We're like a fucking Hyperbola

Midway through the first quarter, when the Texans were down 10-0 and it looked like (once again) the Texans were headed for a losing season, I had to leave. That wasn't from disgust - I was going on a trip with some friends for a few days. I didn't find out that the Texans had won (and by a relatively large margin, too!) until that evening. Given the kind of shit talking done by the resident Cubs fans on Fark, I was very, very pleased. Chicago fans are some of the biggest dickbags around, and (despite the presence of Matt Forte) I'm glad the Texans were able to show them what for. Welcome to Clutch City, bitches.

An even greater present was Indy's shutout of the Titans. If the shitfuckers' second-string is that awful, they're going to have some major problems going into the playoffs. Here's to seeing them get blown the fuck out a week from now. But the crowning jewel of the games was the Cowboys' 44-6 asshanding from Philly. Goddamn that was beautiful.

But the greatest news of all wouldn't come for a few days. Richard Smith was finally put out of his misery, as were the Texans' defensive line and backs coaches. Fan-fucking-tastic, and it only came a full year after it was painfully obvious to every Texan fan with a fucking brain that Houston's defensive playcalling was absolutely putrid.

So things are looking up, I suppose. Dunta and Owen Daniels are up for free agency, and Slaton will likely hold out for a new contract (and rightly so). He's the NFL's leading rookie rusher, and he (get this) leads EVERYONE IN THE FREAKING NFL in yardage from scrimmage. He deserves a new contract.

The Rockets continue to bewilder me. I saw the awesome Jazz game, where Yao (this isn't news) got murdered by the refs and Ron Artest put the team on his back in overtime. Artest showed a lot of (gah I hate to say it) heart out there, and it was impressive to see someone give that much effort when the shots weren't falling and the refs had been killing his team. Heat of a champion stuff from Artest that night.

But then I watched the Toronto game (we were 21-12 going in; someone call Neil Peart) and saw T-Mac just GIVE THE FUCK UP in the 3rd quarter. He stood at midcourt, lazily passing the ball to someone else as soon as he touched it.

Now, we can't see into Tracy's head. Maybe that was him sending a message to everyone else, but everyone else on the court and on the team - Yao, Artest, and Scola, especially - seemed to be trying. The shots didn't fall, but they were still going for the rebound and the steal and attempting to get something started.

I don't like to criticize T-Mac. The dude is awesome most of the time. But that was a pitiful effort, and it was made to look all the worse when Von Wafer stepped into the game and played his heart out. That's probably because he knew that was his opportunity to get more playing time, replacing Luther Head as back-up, but it was still impressive. He was the Rockets' leading scorer for the game, despite only playing a quarter.

I'll probably have more thoughts on this later, but last night's performance was just too ridiculously awful to comprehend right away. On the bright side, Deke rejoins the Rockets tonight in Atlanta.