Oakland - a team that is absolutely awful and now one of the worst franchises in the league - kicked the Texans' asses today, in what was a truly spectacular display of ineptitude.
So the Texans' dreams of having their first winning season (and, incidentally, the first in Houston since 1993) are over. They can, however, beat the Bears next week and equal last year's record. That would really be great, considering that they started off the season 0-4, but nowhere near what everyone was hoping for this year.
So now we wait for the draft, where we hope for a really awesome DB or Brian Orakpo/Michael Johnson to fall to the Texans or that they are able to acquire Julius Peppers/Asomugha or something. Maybe. Orakpo/Johnson/Peppers opposite Mario would probably, I think, do the most to improve the defense, but any improvement on the defensive side would do a lot for the Texans right now.
Anyways, I've been playing Fallout 3 for the last week, and it's really awesome. Like every other Bethesda game I've played since Daggerfall, however, it's buggy as shit. I have no idea why they get away with that. It was excusable back in the 90s - we didn't have any expectations for video games - or with Morrowind , when a fully 3D RPG was entirely new. But Oblivion was exactly the same - terrible pathfinding, characters with scripts that lead them to jump off of buildings, awful clipping issues, and a game engine that can't properly animate running people. Still, the game is a lot of fun, even if it has all those problems. Kinda like the Texans, I suppose.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Sunday, December 14, 2008
What'd I tell ya'll?
Schaub: 23/39, 284 yds, 1 TD
Andre Johnson: 11 receptions, 208 yds, 1 TD
Slaton: 24 carries, 100 yds
And Haynesworth's knee was taken out by Duane Brown's butt. Awesome.
Houston Texans: 13
Bud Adams' Shitfuckers: 12
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
FUCK THE TITANS
Just making that point clear - fuck them to hell. Fuck em. Goddamn I hate those motherfuckers. And their goddamn hick-ass fans. Fuck all of them. Fuck that thug Haynesworth. Fuck that drunk Kerry Collins. Fuck that miserable son of a bitch Bud Adams. Fuck every one of them. Even Jeff Fisher - fuck him, too.
The Texans rolled out over 500 yards of offense against the (admittedly awful) Green Bay defense. They've got a chance this weekend, and Las Vegas is setting the odds at -3 Titans.
As a reminder, if you are a Houstonian, and you are a Titans fan, you can go fuck yourself, too. You're worse than the Cowboys fans who hang around the city. Y'all can both go ream each other up your collective asses.
The Texans rolled out over 500 yards of offense against the (admittedly awful) Green Bay defense. They've got a chance this weekend, and Las Vegas is setting the odds at -3 Titans.
As a reminder, if you are a Houstonian, and you are a Titans fan, you can go fuck yourself, too. You're worse than the Cowboys fans who hang around the city. Y'all can both go ream each other up your collective asses.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Final exams suck hard. Particularly in classes where this is your first and only exam. Because there is no midterm, there's no way to evaluate yourself during the course, nor is there any way to predict what the fuck the instructor wants on the exam. Christ, I hate this shit. Just give me a paper to write. Add that to the fact that we get no dead-time this year, and everything sucks to hell.
For my metaphysics class, I do have a term paper due Monday. We had presentations yesterday, allowing us to share our ideas with the class and professor, gaining valuable input. I like this idea, and I wish we did this sort of thing in our other smaller classes.
Anyways, I'm writing about personal identity and modal questions. My point is that we use modal questions to evaluate personal identity questions all the time ("What if I were disembodied?" for example), but we rarely connect personal identity with modal theories. And I think much of the conflict in modal theories comes from an inability to agree on what the essential characteristics of personhood are. Were we able to definitively answer personal identity questions, we'd likely be able to answer most modal questions about trans-world identity. So I hope that by combining modal and identity theories, I can come up with a better answer to both questions.
It's interesting stuff (to me, at least), but I have so much bullshit to plow through over the next few days - Russian exam, Stalin exam, Labor Econ exam. Fuck.
For my metaphysics class, I do have a term paper due Monday. We had presentations yesterday, allowing us to share our ideas with the class and professor, gaining valuable input. I like this idea, and I wish we did this sort of thing in our other smaller classes.
Anyways, I'm writing about personal identity and modal questions. My point is that we use modal questions to evaluate personal identity questions all the time ("What if I were disembodied?" for example), but we rarely connect personal identity with modal theories. And I think much of the conflict in modal theories comes from an inability to agree on what the essential characteristics of personhood are. Were we able to definitively answer personal identity questions, we'd likely be able to answer most modal questions about trans-world identity. So I hope that by combining modal and identity theories, I can come up with a better answer to both questions.
It's interesting stuff (to me, at least), but I have so much bullshit to plow through over the next few days - Russian exam, Stalin exam, Labor Econ exam. Fuck.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Heart and crap like that
I've got a presentation and paper due tomorrow morning for metaphysics. Unfortunately, I have neither any work done, nor a firm grasp on what I want to discuss. I'm going to be doing something on personal identity, but I'm not sure what I'll be discussing with it. Maybe I'll just critique physicalist interpretations of the mind.
Anyways, I watched the Texans game. It cam right down to the wire, but Kris Brown pulled out the win. It was a good win that showcased how powerful the Texans' offense really is: they were -3 on turnovers, but they still won the fucking game. Awesome.
A few days ago, it occurred to me that for the first time in seven years, I really think of the Texans as "my" team - I care about their wins and losses in a way that I never did before. Previously, we all knew that they sucked and there was little that would change. Now there's clear evidence of improvement. Moreover, I just really like this team.
It comes down to heart. This team really has it in a way that no other Texan team has ever had. And I say that as a guy who routinely ridicules writers who throw around terms like "heart" and "clutch." But this team works well together, and it's clear that they are pushing one another to succeed. The biggest part of their recent success (by which I mean the past two seasons) has been improved personnel, but the fact that the Texans just aren't giving up on the field means a hell of a lot.
Anyways, I watched the Texans game. It cam right down to the wire, but Kris Brown pulled out the win. It was a good win that showcased how powerful the Texans' offense really is: they were -3 on turnovers, but they still won the fucking game. Awesome.
A few days ago, it occurred to me that for the first time in seven years, I really think of the Texans as "my" team - I care about their wins and losses in a way that I never did before. Previously, we all knew that they sucked and there was little that would change. Now there's clear evidence of improvement. Moreover, I just really like this team.
It comes down to heart. This team really has it in a way that no other Texan team has ever had. And I say that as a guy who routinely ridicules writers who throw around terms like "heart" and "clutch." But this team works well together, and it's clear that they are pushing one another to succeed. The biggest part of their recent success (by which I mean the past two seasons) has been improved personnel, but the fact that the Texans just aren't giving up on the field means a hell of a lot.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Vote for Chester, Jacoby and David, you stupid fucks
The NFL is, once again, doing that "My Super Ad" thing, where fans vote on a player's story to be featured in an ad during the Super Bowl. You might remember Ephraim Salaam's winning ad from last year, the ballad of Chester Pitts.
Anyways, the AFC voting is up. And most of the videos aren't very good. Part of the problem is that several are from guys like Brady Quinn and Darren McFadden - high profile players. The cool thing about last year's ad was that it was about a guy who - if you're not a Texans fan - you haven't heard of. It's a neat story about the NFL's "working class" - the players who make up the vast majority of rosters in the NFL.
Three of the five AFC South videos are from Texans: Chester Pitts, Jacoby Jones, and David Anderson. Pitts tells a story about confusing Carson Palmer and his brother (it's not that great, actually, but it's a Texan's story, dammit). Jacoby talks about his mom and punt returns. David Anderson recalls his string dance. I'm rather fond of Anderson's story - mostly because that highlight cracks me up every time I see it. But probably the best one is from Joe Zelenka, long snapper for the Jaguars.
Actually, there are four long snappers with videos submitted. That's crazy. But they're good subjects for the concept - few fans know who is the long snapper on their own team (Pittman won't fight the suspension, by the way, which seems like a mistake. On the other hand, he probably could use the time off. His snaps have been awful lately.), so a story about a long snapper's rise to the NFL is going to be new. More to the point, I think we can better empathize with guys like Zelenka, Anderson, and Jones (hell, even Pitts. Offensive linemen are usually so low-key that there's not that much difference between them and the LS). They're like us. They just really want to play in the NFL (though, obviously the NFL minimum salary doesn't hurt, either).
Anyways, here's hoping that the Texans can get another ad in the Superbowl. It's probably the closest they'll come in a while.
Anyways, the AFC voting is up. And most of the videos aren't very good. Part of the problem is that several are from guys like Brady Quinn and Darren McFadden - high profile players. The cool thing about last year's ad was that it was about a guy who - if you're not a Texans fan - you haven't heard of. It's a neat story about the NFL's "working class" - the players who make up the vast majority of rosters in the NFL.
Three of the five AFC South videos are from Texans: Chester Pitts, Jacoby Jones, and David Anderson. Pitts tells a story about confusing Carson Palmer and his brother (it's not that great, actually, but it's a Texan's story, dammit). Jacoby talks about his mom and punt returns. David Anderson recalls his string dance. I'm rather fond of Anderson's story - mostly because that highlight cracks me up every time I see it. But probably the best one is from Joe Zelenka, long snapper for the Jaguars.
Actually, there are four long snappers with videos submitted. That's crazy. But they're good subjects for the concept - few fans know who is the long snapper on their own team (Pittman won't fight the suspension, by the way, which seems like a mistake. On the other hand, he probably could use the time off. His snaps have been awful lately.), so a story about a long snapper's rise to the NFL is going to be new. More to the point, I think we can better empathize with guys like Zelenka, Anderson, and Jones (hell, even Pitts. Offensive linemen are usually so low-key that there's not that much difference between them and the LS). They're like us. They just really want to play in the NFL (though, obviously the NFL minimum salary doesn't hurt, either).
Anyways, here's hoping that the Texans can get another ad in the Superbowl. It's probably the closest they'll come in a while.
New title card
to reflect new-found optimism. Plus, I got tired of looking at a reminder of the Texans' spectacular failures. Let's look their best beatdown of another team.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Whatever
Amazing. Truly amazing.
Wait... no it's not. This is the Stros we're talking about! Of course they make terrible personnel decisions - it's their raison d'etre.
I can understand not offering Brocail arbitration - if he declined arbitration, it would have been unlikely that anyone else would have paid for him, anyways. And Wade was apparently able to get Brocail to accept a $750,000 pay cut.
But Wolf seemed like such an obvious candidate for arbitration. He was unlikely to accept, and (even if he did accept) he wasn't going to get paid that much extra, anyways. So you could at least get an extra draft pick out of it.
Hampton was signed. Cool.
Wait... no it's not. This is the Stros we're talking about! Of course they make terrible personnel decisions - it's their raison d'etre.
I can understand not offering Brocail arbitration - if he declined arbitration, it would have been unlikely that anyone else would have paid for him, anyways. And Wade was apparently able to get Brocail to accept a $750,000 pay cut.
But Wolf seemed like such an obvious candidate for arbitration. He was unlikely to accept, and (even if he did accept) he wasn't going to get paid that much extra, anyways. So you could at least get an extra draft pick out of it.
Hampton was signed. Cool.
What the fuck ever happened to the study period?
This is the last week of classes for the semester, and once again I wonder: what the fuck happened to all the time students used to get for studying? When my parents were in college, they got a week off to prepare. When my sister was in college, the same. Last year, we got three days. This year, we get no days (thanks, Gustav!). That's bullshit. I demand the same meaningless preparation time that my predecessors received.
Not to get overly optimistic or anything...
...but what's the likelihood that the Texans could finish with a winning record for the 2008 season? I mean, granted, the Jags' defense is not nearly what it was last year, but I think there is some chance of it, at least. In fact, I'd say the chances of the Texans once again breaking even is fairly good, as well.
They play Sunday at Green Bay. The Packers have been awful lately, and they seem to be in the same category as the Texans - good offense, terrible defense. Unfortunately for the Texans, the game will be away from Houston and probably in harsh weather. Schaub will be back, though. It's definitely a winnable game.
The next week, they play the shitfuckers at home. Now, the Titans are obviously a far superior team to the Texans, but maybe they'll get lucky.
After that, it's smooth sailing: @Oakland (if the Texans can't beat the Raiders, they're fucked anyways) and vs Chicago. So it comes down to this: if the Texans can beat Green Bay, they have an off chance at a winning season. If they can pull off the upset against Tennessee, then I'd say it's a virtual lock.
That I'm even entertaining this idea would have been crazy two weeks ago. But - for whatever reason - the offense was clicking last night and the defense really stepped up.
Oh, and Chester Pitts' pre-game huddle pep-talk further cemented him as my favorite Texan. If I could pick athletes to actually hang out with, the list would look something like this:
1) Pitts - dude plays the Oboe. We could jam and shit.
2) Berkman - loves Jesus and football; seems like a nice guy.
3) Battier / T-Mac
They play Sunday at Green Bay. The Packers have been awful lately, and they seem to be in the same category as the Texans - good offense, terrible defense. Unfortunately for the Texans, the game will be away from Houston and probably in harsh weather. Schaub will be back, though. It's definitely a winnable game.
The next week, they play the shitfuckers at home. Now, the Titans are obviously a far superior team to the Texans, but maybe they'll get lucky.
After that, it's smooth sailing: @Oakland (if the Texans can't beat the Raiders, they're fucked anyways) and vs Chicago. So it comes down to this: if the Texans can beat Green Bay, they have an off chance at a winning season. If they can pull off the upset against Tennessee, then I'd say it's a virtual lock.
That I'm even entertaining this idea would have been crazy two weeks ago. But - for whatever reason - the offense was clicking last night and the defense really stepped up.
Oh, and Chester Pitts' pre-game huddle pep-talk further cemented him as my favorite Texan. If I could pick athletes to actually hang out with, the list would look something like this:
1) Pitts - dude plays the Oboe. We could jam and shit.
2) Berkman - loves Jesus and football; seems like a nice guy.
3) Battier / T-Mac
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