The Cards gave out a monster ass-whuppin to the Cubs last night. As an Astros fan, I despise both teams, but this is great. And, as I've said before, at least Cardinals fans have some class. Fuck Cubs fans - bunch of rich, white poseurs, if you ask me.
The best part? Zambrano gave up 7 runs in 1 and 2/3 innings of shit. Including a grand slam to Adam Kennedy. Hi-fucking-larious. If you give up the 3 run homer to Albert Pujols, it's understandable - he's Albert Fucking Pujols - but giving up a home run to Kennedy (his SECOND of the season, btw) is just a joyous celebration of terrible pitching.
Oh, and Cubs fans made the "He just got back from Venezuela after his grandmother's funeral. He was tired and had his mind on other things" excuse. Gee, I wonder which entire fucking team that sounds like? But the Astros should have just cowboyed up, right? Big Z, smarmy dumbass that he is, made plenty of "they need to just play ball" comments after his no-hitter, but somehow that doesn't fucking apply to him. Fuck you, Chicago.
Showing posts with label cubs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cubs. Show all posts
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Monday, September 15, 2008
Ugh
Not pretty. Fuck.
So, I'll address some of the stupid bullshit (Mostly Cubs fan talking points) that has been said over the past 24 hours:
1) Drayton McLane delayed the games until the last minute. Astros fans have no one to blame but Drayton.
This has been said by both Astros and Cubs fans. This is total crap. I hate on Uncle Drayton as much as the next God-fearing Houstonian, but this isn't his fault. He did the right thing. He tried to keep the games in Houston. He tried to keep players and employees with their families and loved ones.
And he didn't do it for the cash. Milwaukee handed over all money from the games. I think he legitimately wanted to ensure that the games would be played in Houston, if possible. He probably argued for the games to be played in Arlington (and Round Rock, too), but the MLB would have none of it.
2) The lack of "home field" didn't matter.
This is partially correct. I doubt that having thousands of dumbass Cubs fans in the stands did anything.
But travel time was an issue. The Good Guys spent most of Sunday traveling, after having to evacuate Houston just hours prior. That's a bunch of bullshit.
3) If you live on the Gulf Coast, losing home field to a hurricane is a possibility. Deal with it.
You know, I never really expected to encounter this one. But I did. Twice.
The first was on Fark (home of bullshit and unfounded self-righteousness) from a Baltimore Ravens fan. He was all pissed off about the NFL moving the Ravens' (and Texans') bye week to now. He said it was "unfair," and that, instead, the Ravens and Texans should play the game in Baltimore.
I found his definition of "fair" interesting. Both teams losing a bye week sucks, but it is "fair" because both get fucked equally.
To him, however, the "fair" thing was to give the Ravens a free home game. (Yeah, I think he failed Ethics 101)
I also encountered this from Cubs fans trolling on the Crawfish Boxes (the comments have since been baleted, which is really too bad).
I mean, words can't describe how stupid this is. I can't imagine Cubs (or Ravens, Bears or Orioles) fans thinking that moving their home games would be "fair" if Baltimore or Chicago was hit by some disaster. Maybe that's because it's just such a horseshit idea. No fan is going to accept that, and rightfully so. It's just so stupid to expect teams to give up home games because of natural disasters.
4) Typical "Team of Destiny!" Crap
I'd like to remind Cubs fans that pride goeth before the fall. And it makes that fall much worse than it would have been. One would think 100 years of post season failure would teach Cubs fans that anything can happen in the post season, and that it's just not a good idea to start the gloating before the games even happen.
Remember the 1998 Astros? Well, the 1998 Cubs had a pretty fucking great year, too. But they were swept by Atlanta in the NLDS. They, too, failed to get past the first round that year, facing much less spectacular teams. That was the year of Kerry Wood's 20K game against the Astros. Look what it yielded.
Now, this will make any failure by the Cubs all the sweeter. Every person outside of Chicago will be cheering for the Phillies (provided they make it) in the NLDS. Everyone will be cheering for the Mets or Dodgers to beat them in the NLCS. Everyone will want the Angels/Red Sox/ White Sox (God I hope not)/ Rays (fuck yes) to kick their ass. And if it happens, Cubs fans will never hear the end of it. Every NL Central fan will let the Cubs have it in 2009.
This isn't to suggest that Cubs fans shouldn't be happy with their team's victories. Far from it. They just need to realize that gloating now is just a prescription for unending grief later. It's why Red Sox fans are so despised. It's why no one like Yankees fans.
Now, with that said, I'd like to say that I'd never practice what I just preached. If the Astros were one of the best teams in baseball, if the Rockets raked house every year, and if the Texans were a powerhouse in the NFL, I'd never let any opposing fan hear the end of it. Maybe that's because I've spent most of my life rooting for teams that have had no post season success. I only vaguely remember the 1995 Rockets (I was only 7 years old). I don't really give a shit about the Dynamo or any of that crap. Chicago fans really don't have that excuse, though. The Jordan-era Bulls were only a decade ago. It wasn't long ago that the Bears went to the Superbowl.
5) Zambrano's No Hitter is Exactly the Same as Every Other Ever
That one's really a response to some Astros fans' claims that this no-hitter just wasn't as much of an accomplishment. Which is true. And before Cubs fans get in a little tizzy over this, let's do a thought experiment.
Pretend that two games exist: Game A and Game B. Game A was Sunday night's game. Everything happened in Game A just as in reality.
Game B is exactly like Game A, but it was played with no hurricane. It was played in Houston in front of a divided, but still pro-Astro crowd. The Astros players never had to evacuate. They never had to travel cross-country and play on the same day. But the no-hitter still happened.
Is anyone really willing to say that Game B and Game A are equivalent? That, one every level, the two games were equally glorious? I don't think anyone would, and that's because such suggestion would be stupid. Circumstances matter in all of this.
To use an example from Cubs history, let's look at Kerry Wood's 1998 20 K performance. Why was that so spectacular? Because he threw a CG Shutout 1-hitter with 20 strikeouts against a lineup that included three of the greatest hitters in baseball (Bagwell, Biggio, Alou). (As an aside, I've always thought that game was kind of interesting from the Good Guys' perspective. I was, if I recall, in 3rd grade math class at the time, so I never saw it. But it's rather remarkable that the worst hitter on the team (Ricky Gutierrez) got the one hit. On the other hand, the only other Astro baserunner was Biggio, who (in typical Bidge fashion) didn't get the fuck out of the way of a pitch). Wood's game wouldn't have been such an accomplishment if it were thrown against, say, the current Pirates. It would still be an accomplishment, but less so.
A final example, this time from Astros history: the 6-Pitcher-no-hitter game against the Yankees. That wasn't as good of a performance as any other no-hitter. Part of the greatness of a no-hitter is the stamina and efficiency involved. Using 6 pitchers obviously nullifies that. No one would compare that no-hitter to one of Nolan Ryan's.
All of this shows that circumstances matter. And since the circumstances involved invariably hurt the Astros, they hurt the image of Zambrano's no-hitter. That's just a fact.
In other matters, I'd like to wish the Buffalo Bills the best of luck. Despite the ignorance of ESPN and the regular sports media, Buffalo is the best team in the AFC East. Not that those fucks would ever notice. Despite the Bills' destruction of the Oilers and subsequent loss to Dallas (fuck the Cowboys), good luck to them.
Edit: Forgot about #5; added it in.
So, I'll address some of the stupid bullshit (Mostly Cubs fan talking points) that has been said over the past 24 hours:
1) Drayton McLane delayed the games until the last minute. Astros fans have no one to blame but Drayton.
This has been said by both Astros and Cubs fans. This is total crap. I hate on Uncle Drayton as much as the next God-fearing Houstonian, but this isn't his fault. He did the right thing. He tried to keep the games in Houston. He tried to keep players and employees with their families and loved ones.
And he didn't do it for the cash. Milwaukee handed over all money from the games. I think he legitimately wanted to ensure that the games would be played in Houston, if possible. He probably argued for the games to be played in Arlington (and Round Rock, too), but the MLB would have none of it.
2) The lack of "home field" didn't matter.
This is partially correct. I doubt that having thousands of dumbass Cubs fans in the stands did anything.
But travel time was an issue. The Good Guys spent most of Sunday traveling, after having to evacuate Houston just hours prior. That's a bunch of bullshit.
3) If you live on the Gulf Coast, losing home field to a hurricane is a possibility. Deal with it.
You know, I never really expected to encounter this one. But I did. Twice.
The first was on Fark (home of bullshit and unfounded self-righteousness) from a Baltimore Ravens fan. He was all pissed off about the NFL moving the Ravens' (and Texans') bye week to now. He said it was "unfair," and that, instead, the Ravens and Texans should play the game in Baltimore.
I found his definition of "fair" interesting. Both teams losing a bye week sucks, but it is "fair" because both get fucked equally.
To him, however, the "fair" thing was to give the Ravens a free home game. (Yeah, I think he failed Ethics 101)
I also encountered this from Cubs fans trolling on the Crawfish Boxes (the comments have since been baleted, which is really too bad).
I mean, words can't describe how stupid this is. I can't imagine Cubs (or Ravens, Bears or Orioles) fans thinking that moving their home games would be "fair" if Baltimore or Chicago was hit by some disaster. Maybe that's because it's just such a horseshit idea. No fan is going to accept that, and rightfully so. It's just so stupid to expect teams to give up home games because of natural disasters.
4) Typical "Team of Destiny!" Crap
I'd like to remind Cubs fans that pride goeth before the fall. And it makes that fall much worse than it would have been. One would think 100 years of post season failure would teach Cubs fans that anything can happen in the post season, and that it's just not a good idea to start the gloating before the games even happen.
Remember the 1998 Astros? Well, the 1998 Cubs had a pretty fucking great year, too. But they were swept by Atlanta in the NLDS. They, too, failed to get past the first round that year, facing much less spectacular teams. That was the year of Kerry Wood's 20K game against the Astros. Look what it yielded.
Now, this will make any failure by the Cubs all the sweeter. Every person outside of Chicago will be cheering for the Phillies (provided they make it) in the NLDS. Everyone will be cheering for the Mets or Dodgers to beat them in the NLCS. Everyone will want the Angels/Red Sox/ White Sox (God I hope not)/ Rays (fuck yes) to kick their ass. And if it happens, Cubs fans will never hear the end of it. Every NL Central fan will let the Cubs have it in 2009.
This isn't to suggest that Cubs fans shouldn't be happy with their team's victories. Far from it. They just need to realize that gloating now is just a prescription for unending grief later. It's why Red Sox fans are so despised. It's why no one like Yankees fans.
Now, with that said, I'd like to say that I'd never practice what I just preached. If the Astros were one of the best teams in baseball, if the Rockets raked house every year, and if the Texans were a powerhouse in the NFL, I'd never let any opposing fan hear the end of it. Maybe that's because I've spent most of my life rooting for teams that have had no post season success. I only vaguely remember the 1995 Rockets (I was only 7 years old). I don't really give a shit about the Dynamo or any of that crap. Chicago fans really don't have that excuse, though. The Jordan-era Bulls were only a decade ago. It wasn't long ago that the Bears went to the Superbowl.
5) Zambrano's No Hitter is Exactly the Same as Every Other Ever
That one's really a response to some Astros fans' claims that this no-hitter just wasn't as much of an accomplishment. Which is true. And before Cubs fans get in a little tizzy over this, let's do a thought experiment.
Pretend that two games exist: Game A and Game B. Game A was Sunday night's game. Everything happened in Game A just as in reality.
Game B is exactly like Game A, but it was played with no hurricane. It was played in Houston in front of a divided, but still pro-Astro crowd. The Astros players never had to evacuate. They never had to travel cross-country and play on the same day. But the no-hitter still happened.
Is anyone really willing to say that Game B and Game A are equivalent? That, one every level, the two games were equally glorious? I don't think anyone would, and that's because such suggestion would be stupid. Circumstances matter in all of this.
To use an example from Cubs history, let's look at Kerry Wood's 1998 20 K performance. Why was that so spectacular? Because he threw a CG Shutout 1-hitter with 20 strikeouts against a lineup that included three of the greatest hitters in baseball (Bagwell, Biggio, Alou). (As an aside, I've always thought that game was kind of interesting from the Good Guys' perspective. I was, if I recall, in 3rd grade math class at the time, so I never saw it. But it's rather remarkable that the worst hitter on the team (Ricky Gutierrez) got the one hit. On the other hand, the only other Astro baserunner was Biggio, who (in typical Bidge fashion) didn't get the fuck out of the way of a pitch). Wood's game wouldn't have been such an accomplishment if it were thrown against, say, the current Pirates. It would still be an accomplishment, but less so.
A final example, this time from Astros history: the 6-Pitcher-no-hitter game against the Yankees. That wasn't as good of a performance as any other no-hitter. Part of the greatness of a no-hitter is the stamina and efficiency involved. Using 6 pitchers obviously nullifies that. No one would compare that no-hitter to one of Nolan Ryan's.
All of this shows that circumstances matter. And since the circumstances involved invariably hurt the Astros, they hurt the image of Zambrano's no-hitter. That's just a fact.
In other matters, I'd like to wish the Buffalo Bills the best of luck. Despite the ignorance of ESPN and the regular sports media, Buffalo is the best team in the AFC East. Not that those fucks would ever notice. Despite the Bills' destruction of the Oilers and subsequent loss to Dallas (fuck the Cowboys), good luck to them.
Edit: Forgot about #5; added it in.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Eat shit Cubsfans
I rarely scream at televisions. Particularly when I'm in a dorm. Tonight was an exception.
So I'm majorly pissed. Bud Selig made the Astros play a thousand fucking miles away from home after their home city is fucked over by the forces of nature.
I want to make something very clear right now. Fuck whatever it is that's in charge of baseball luck. I don't care if it's fate, or karma, or God himself. This is horseshit. And I'm fucking tired of it.
The city of fucking "Baaaaaaaaaaaastaaaaaan" gets to fucking market it's "loveable loser" bullshit for fucking forever. Chicago does the same shit. What the fuck kind of sympathy does Houston get? Fucking nothing. We've had two fucking national championships since the AFL merged with the NFL. If we want to go through the list of bullshit luck, we can (and we will).
1) Phi Slamma Jamma
Greatest college team ever gets fucked over by fate. Fuck fate.
2) Moon-Era Oilers
Greatest Oilers ever get fucking unlucky in the playoffs. Fuck luck. And Buffalo. And Dallas. Also lead to Adams moving the fucking team. Fuck him.
3) 1998 Astros
Been through this. Fuck it.
4) 2004 Astros
4 guaranteed HOF players on the roster: Bags, Bidge, Rocket, Kent. Four awesome (possible HOF, provided everything goes right) other players: Beltran, Lidge, Berkman, Oswalt. All get screwed in the playoffs. Fuck Jim Edmonds.
5) 1986 Astros
Goddamnit.
6) Rockets, since 1995.
Don't get me fucking started.
7) Texans
David fucking Carr. The entire offensive line. Fuck this.
8) Bud Adams
If I ever see his Jabba-the-Hut ass on the street, I'll kick it.
arrrgh
Being a Houston fan is tough. We see Dallas fans and their stupid fucking Cowboys win all the fucking time. We see the Mavericks start to fucking make it, and all those assholes in Dallas start becoming basketball fans. If the Rangers start to be good, you can be sure that all those fuckers will suddenly be baseball fans, too. Bunch of fair-weather fucks.
I've got sympathy for precisely three cities in the US: New Orleans, Buffalo, and Cleveland. Fuck everyone else.
Houston rocks, and we deserve better fucking results. We get screwed over by luck all the goddamn time. It doesn't help when the people in charge join in on the fun.
First, Ike kicks the city of Houston in the nuts. Power is out. Galveston is torn to fucking shreds. I imagine a good portion of Galveston bay, Brazoria county, and anything along the Bayous and channel is fucked to hell.
Then, baseball does us no fucking favors.
Fuck it. The Astros will kick ass tomorrow. Then the Rockets are going to feed the rest of the country a big pile of dog shit.
So I'm majorly pissed. Bud Selig made the Astros play a thousand fucking miles away from home after their home city is fucked over by the forces of nature.
I want to make something very clear right now. Fuck whatever it is that's in charge of baseball luck. I don't care if it's fate, or karma, or God himself. This is horseshit. And I'm fucking tired of it.
The city of fucking "Baaaaaaaaaaaastaaaaaan" gets to fucking market it's "loveable loser" bullshit for fucking forever. Chicago does the same shit. What the fuck kind of sympathy does Houston get? Fucking nothing. We've had two fucking national championships since the AFL merged with the NFL. If we want to go through the list of bullshit luck, we can (and we will).
1) Phi Slamma Jamma
Greatest college team ever gets fucked over by fate. Fuck fate.
2) Moon-Era Oilers
Greatest Oilers ever get fucking unlucky in the playoffs. Fuck luck. And Buffalo. And Dallas. Also lead to Adams moving the fucking team. Fuck him.
3) 1998 Astros
Been through this. Fuck it.
4) 2004 Astros
4 guaranteed HOF players on the roster: Bags, Bidge, Rocket, Kent. Four awesome (possible HOF, provided everything goes right) other players: Beltran, Lidge, Berkman, Oswalt. All get screwed in the playoffs. Fuck Jim Edmonds.
5) 1986 Astros
Goddamnit.
6) Rockets, since 1995.
Don't get me fucking started.
7) Texans
David fucking Carr. The entire offensive line. Fuck this.
8) Bud Adams
If I ever see his Jabba-the-Hut ass on the street, I'll kick it.
arrrgh
Being a Houston fan is tough. We see Dallas fans and their stupid fucking Cowboys win all the fucking time. We see the Mavericks start to fucking make it, and all those assholes in Dallas start becoming basketball fans. If the Rangers start to be good, you can be sure that all those fuckers will suddenly be baseball fans, too. Bunch of fair-weather fucks.
I've got sympathy for precisely three cities in the US: New Orleans, Buffalo, and Cleveland. Fuck everyone else.
Houston rocks, and we deserve better fucking results. We get screwed over by luck all the goddamn time. It doesn't help when the people in charge join in on the fun.
First, Ike kicks the city of Houston in the nuts. Power is out. Galveston is torn to fucking shreds. I imagine a good portion of Galveston bay, Brazoria county, and anything along the Bayous and channel is fucked to hell.
Then, baseball does us no fucking favors.
Fuck it. The Astros will kick ass tomorrow. Then the Rockets are going to feed the rest of the country a big pile of dog shit.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Absolute horseshit
The Astros say that MMPUS is ready for games this weekend, but the commissioner has decided that two games will be played in Milwaukee. One game will be played on the 29th, if necessary.
So the Astros will play two "home" games at Wrigley Field North. Fucking great. Bud Selig can eat shit. If nothing else, play the two games at Ranger Field. That would at least be in Texas. Bullshit.
Whatever. Just kick some ass, Stros.
So the Astros will play two "home" games at Wrigley Field North. Fucking great. Bud Selig can eat shit. If nothing else, play the two games at Ranger Field. That would at least be in Texas. Bullshit.
Whatever. Just kick some ass, Stros.
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