I think I'm gonna puke

I'm watching MNF. Fuck the Cowboys. I think it's Tony Kornheiser (whom I normally like) talking right now

And he's talking (really he's just gobbling cock) about the Cowboys. It was so hyperbolic. "Jerry Jones is the architect of this. Everything they do is just bigger and better than anyone else. They just embrace the fame and fortune. That blue star is bigger than anything else in American sports."

I'm serious: I just puked in my mouth a little.

Christ I hate the Cowboys. I hate everything about them. I hate the way their fans act. I hate their front-running bullshit. I hate the whole city of Dallas. I hate that fucking star. I hate their idiotic "America's Team" crap.

It's fucking South Oklahoma, not Texas. North Texas is filled with a bunch of fucking hicks and bible pounders. We've got plenty of them here, too, but they're loveable.

And you can't get any good seafood there. And they put fritos in their chili (it's rice or nothing, motherfuckers).

And they're a bunch of fucking yuppies.

And they all vote Republican.

And they're less diverse than Houston.

And they don't have our universities or museums. We're smarter than they are.

FUCK DALLAS!